Embracing the end of Friendships and Relationships

“It’s hard to know exactly how people develop the characters they do. There could be people from humble beginnings that turn into jerks. Some characteristics are just part of that special soul of that human being”. - David Maraniss

A few years ago I watched a documentary on television about two elderly women that ended up living together as friends. These two women had been friends for about many years. They always kept a close friendship and remained close to each other. They grew up as best friends and stayed friends all the way throughout life. Watching this documentary made me question and ask myself "What really is the definition of a real friend" what is friendship?. Lots of people think that they are good friends but in reality there no where close to it. Why isn’t there friendships like these today anymore? This brings me back to my best friend and I, friends for so many years and it’s all thrown away over things that could have been avoided. People don't value friendships and relationships in my generation. Maybe friendships and relationships come with an invisible expiration date of some sort. 

Throughout life I’ve had many friendships that I thought would last a lifetime, but of course life surprised me and things turned out differently as it often does. As I look back on my previous relationships whether it was a close friend, an acquaintance, a significant other, each friendship and relationship made perfect sense for me at that particular time in my life. We live and we learn, people come into our live but only the true ones stay to the end even after knowing your flaws and all. I personally believe that people are put into our lives or people are brought together for each person’s maximum growth. When the growth is over, it’s time to move on. A person growth can take a day,week, month or year or sometimes even a lifetime. I’ve come across people that spent their entire life together and then decide to call it quits after a long time. Either way, when this happens and this time come around, the most we can do is allow ourselves to move on and accept that it has happened and trust that everything is happening exactly as it should. 
 
People often question themselves about the things that they could have done differently in order to make this relationship or friendship work. Sometimes circumstances causes relationships to shift and move apart. However, other times it’s a decision that we consciously make to walk away from it. Some people find it hard to move on from someone they once loved or cared about. People often find themselves going backwards after a relationship or friendship ends, many feel like they can’t live without this person and start going down memory lane and missing them. However, I’ve come up with some possible ways people can move on from broken relationships and the end of friendships.

1. Take responsibility - As you learn and grow, so do your friendships and relationships. My circle of friends shifted completely from the transition from high school to college. Taking responsibility for your actions plays an essential role in any circumstances that you are facing. If your break up ended bad, or a friendship ended on a bad note, take responsibility on your part  for what has happened. Blaming it on the other person doesn’t work and just isn’t fair. As some of my past relationships and friendships ended it paved a way for me to actually see what I needed to work on as a person. I’ve discovered areas in my life that needed improvements and the ending of most of my past relationships and friendships showed me these areas.

2- Let go of your guilt - At first when the friendships with my best friend and I ended I felt guilty because I wasn’t such a great friend. I would constantly get upset when something wasn’t done my way or said something that I didn’t mean. When our friendship did actually end up ending for good I felt bad. You can’t control the things that happens in your life but you should always trust your heart and never feel guilty for the things you do.

3- Make New Relationships and Friendships- Make way for new people to enter your life. Being stuck in the past wishing things could have worked out differently for your relationship or friendship will not help you. Sometimes we have to learn to just let go and move on even though it’s hard. Whatever is meant to be will be. Every person that we meet and encounter as we change, grow and move will also change. Embrace it! There is no need to be attached or clingy to a relationship or friendship that has ended and isn't working anymore. Sometimes just letting things go and taking a step back and reevaluating ourselves is what we need to do. Instead of sitting around sad or upset about something that has gone wrong, we should rather get excited about our future plans and goals in life.  All changes are helpful.