Wednesday, December 4, 2013
Trust
"Trust can take years to build, but only a second to break."- Unknown
If you had someone trust and you no longer have it how do you re-earn it?
How do you know if you really trust someone or if you are just trying to convenience yourself that you trust them? These are the questions that I ask myself as I'm writing this post.
If I able to see into the future I wouldn't have made some of the decisions I've made in the past. I tend to be the type of person to not think before saying/doing things and end up facing the consequences later. I have a irrational/ living in the moment kind of thinking. This is unfortunately a crappy humanistic trait. As I'm writing this post I'm kind emotional so please excuse me if it sounds a little sappy. In this post I will actually use the person's name that I'm writing about, hopefully she sees this and can understand that what I did wasn't in no way intentional or of an act to hurt our friendship/sisterhood.
Joyce and I have been friends for over a decade. Our friendship has always been okay and never had any bumpy roads along the way. She made clear to me that if I ever fucked her over that she'd drop me as a friend no matter how long we've known each other. Sounds kind of harsh right? but that's just the type of person she is. Anyway moving along, very much aware of the kind of person she is recently I had access to her email password because of some business we were doing together and saw some personal things in her email that was still there unknowingly to her before she gave me the password. Being noseyI looked through her personal stuff and panicked. I panicked and called our other friend to tell her what I saw in these messages and to try and get some advice on how to approach her about what I saw. Even though I'm using her name in this post, It's still embarrassing to say what I saw in her mails, so I'll refrain from saying what it was. I saw what I saw and instead of going straight to Joyce with questions I notified our other close friend about the issue, in hopes of getting advice from her of how to approach this matter. In the end things turned out bad and I never got a chance to actually go up to Joyce and talk to her personally about this issues. She eventually found out that I read through her email messages and dropped me. Her exact words before she got out of my car two nights ago after we talked about this matter was " I can't trust you, and without trust there's no Friendship". Over the past few days those words have been playing over and over in my head. I invaded her privacy, read her emails and instead of going to her with what I found out I kept it to myself and went to someone else and for this I was wrong.
When you trust a person, you believe that they have your best interest at heart. They wouldn't do something to hurt you for the fun of it, or for selfish gain. You rely on them. You earn a person's trust by consistently proving yourself to them. You show them that you will not use them or take advantage of them. Not abuse their love or their generosity and think before acting.
My question is guys, If you were put in a situation like I was put in what would you do? How do I re-earn this person's trust/friendship?.
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ReplyDeleteThis post is a nice attempt at describing your repentance toward your previous behavior to your friend. However, if the purpose of it is to apologize, I think you should state your case -- the one you never had the opportunity to tell Joyce -- and show her why you'd still like to be her friend. You saw some shocking things in her e-mail, but you never explain what caused you to actually go through her account. She'd probably like to know.
ReplyDeleteThat's my advice to you in terms of your specific situation. If she won't see this, you should write her a letter, or do your best to contact her, respectfully.
In terms of the post, itself, you have this tendency to end many of your posts with a question. It's almost like seeking advice from a forum. I think opening up a discussion is great for a forum-based website, but for a blog post, I would suggest sticking to your own views. The views of others will follow without you requesting them.
You do have a knack for selecting great subjects to write, however. I would just focus on the direction you'd like to take in your posts by planning or pre-writing before you sit down to write. You have the ability to really tackle some great issues.
I'm not great when it comes to friends. I'm the same way as her, I drop my friends if they fuck me over and usually have no remorse. For me, I wish people were more straight up about things. You should be straight up with Joyce and confront her about the problem and apologize and start from their to gain the trust back. That's 10 years worth of friendship. In the long run, this shenanigan isn't going to be important in the 10 years of being friends. Talk to her about it. Be real and straight up about your feelings.
ReplyDeleteI like this blog post, but I would proofread before putting this up. Don't worry, I also need to proofread my blog posts as well haha!