I'm sure we all been in this situation. You know, the one where we feel that out friend might possibly choose their significant other over us. I have been in this situation once, and let me tell you, being on the receiving end kind of blows. But what makes us feel this way? I know I personally felt hurt and a bit betrayed. It's like at one point you and this one particular friend did EVERYTHING together! The numerous sleep overs, the all day video game sessions, they all hold treasured memories. Then one day she gets a new boyfriend. Now you were there for the countless stories of how good he looked, or how he might have possibly glanced in her direction. Although these stories drive you crazy you still listen to them, because at the end of the day you're glad your friend is happy.
Now the guy she likes, you don't like. You heard stories, he seems okay, but something about him just doesn't sit right with you. He's the type with the troubled "past", and of course numerous girls have cheated on him and he just doesn't know why. But your friend is head over heels infatuated with this guy!
"HE'S THE BEST!"
"WE TALK ON THE PHONE ALL NIGHT"
"OMG HE JUST CALLED ME BABE"
So now they're together, in what I like to call the "honey moon" phase. It's the constant "him this and him that" almost to the point where you want to rip your hair out! But you don't want to sound like you don't care or seem like a bad friend so you let it go. Pretty soon, you don't get as many texts from here as you use too. When you try to make plans its always "oh dang, I can't BF and I have plans today" Then when you finally do make plans with her, she's either always on the phone and half there with you, or asking you if it's okay for her to leave a bit early. Then after that, it's pretty much down hill from there. You guys make plans and she bails..it's almost past the point of being fed up!
My question is, what makes your friend go nuts over this one guy when you guys have so much history? Granted, it's not like you are having sex with her, but even still. You were there for the laughs, the secrets, the tears..what makes this one guy so special? Why does it seem that your friend has forgotten that you even existed?
But it's ok for her to suddenly hit you up
and complain about her relationship problems.
It's totally alright for her to become so self absorbed
that she hadn't even asked how you were...
So you finally get the nerve to tell her what's been on your mind, how you feel..and...
she tells her boyfriend what you said....
he tells her you're just jealous.....
Needless to say guys, that crap kind of sucked. I just couldn't understand why she was acting the way she was. All this over a guy..I felt like she picked him, and their relationship over ours..
They broke up of course and I was the first one she called. I listened..I didn't curse her the hell out like I wanted to. I kind of figured that a friend is there no matter what happens..
I did feel distant from her..more distant than I ever felt..she was like a sister to me..now
it was like a stranger was standing in her place..
A few months later, this guy I had a crush on asked me out. The way my friend treated me and how I treated her while I was in a relationship was totally different. I didn't blow her off, I was always available to her. At the same time, I had time for my BF and I never canceled on one for the other..maybe its about time management when it comes to having a boyfriend and a best friend. I guess at the end of the day, after that whole situation..I never really looked at her in the same light.
Did I judge her too harshly? Am I bad friend for seeing her differently? I don't know guys.. I'll let you decide.
XXSD
This is a very strong post in my opinion. I don't think you're a bad friend for seeing her differently. I personally can unfortunately say that I did this to my best friend, and I couldn't blame him for seeing me differently. Aside from the personal aspect, I thought this post displayed a strong voice. At moments, I could truly feel your emotion, and I could tell it was a situation that really bothered. Throughout the post, there were a few grammatical errors and missed commas, but in posts that require as much emotion as this one, it's almost inevitable that the writer is going to make some mistakes. Besides the few errors, I really enjoyed this post, and I think you're a very talented, original writer. Great job
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this piece. I admire the honesty and courage put into this post. I feel like this is a universal topic that many people can relate too, choosing the friend or the boyfriend. I would be as angry as you were by her actions and have been through some similar situations myself. I feel the emotion as I read every line by how betrayed you feel. I think grammar can be worked on a little, but other than that i feel like your a very good writer. Good job.
ReplyDelete