Girl likes Boy
Girl and Boy starts dating
Girl and Boy are Happy
Girl and Boy become unhappy
Girl and Boy break up
Girls' Best friend Dates the ex Boy
Ok guys tell me, which one doesn't fit?
It's sad to say but i'm sure in some shape or form, some of us has experienced above scenario.
Let me say, it sucks hard.
How could someone you called your friend? Your Bro? Stab you in the back like that. I'm sure everyone knows the universal rule of hooking up with your friend ex...YOU DON'T DO IT! It's an unsaid code of honor, something that is apart of out internal system of what's right and wrong! Everyone knows, you never go after a friend ex, because it's like a middle finger .
What makes people do it anyway? This is more than an act of betrayal..this is the ultimate act of back stabbing. In most cases there's no coming back from this. It's no man lands territory. It's disappointing to say, but in this day and age a guy or girl can destroy a friendship.
HOW DO I KNOW? you ask? Let's just say I have been in these uncharted waters.
A couple of years of ago, I had a friend. Let's just call her A for all sake and purposes of my narrative. A and I were cool. I never had a problem with her. we hung out like normal friends do. Everything was all good. I started dating this guy and of course, at 16, you think that every love is the 'forever' type of love. Everything was going great but exactly a year later we ended up breaking up. A, then decided that it was okay to start dating MY ex-boyfriend. Are you serious? Are you kidding? Dating one of your friends ex-boyfriends simply means that you're now eating my left overs. A and I are no longer friends and the faith of our friendship was determined by this factor and other things also.
We should keep in mind certain key factors when it comes down to dating a friend ex boyfriend/girlfriend:
1-First, how recent was the break up
If your friend and this person broke up within the past few weeks or months then it's a no go. Of course, this is only allowed if you speak to the friend and make sure that he/she is okay and is over this relationship. There's nothing more dangerous than trying to date a friend's ex-boyfriend/girlfriend that's not over the relationship. It can turn out really bad.
2- Second, how close is the friendship?
If this person is your best friend or close to being your best friend then the topic of trying to date his/her ex is out of the window!! Seriously! it should be thrown so far out the window that you forget that this was ever a thought. Apart of friendships are rules and boundaries of which we should abide by and this just happen to be one of those rules. If this person is a close friend then I suggest that you talk and let them know that you are considering dating the ex. In experience, friends appreciate hearing directly from friends rather than finding out information elsewhere. If he/she is not a close friend then you don't need to discuss your dating plans with anyone.
3- How upset/over it is this person about the break-up
It is common courtesy that if you have a close friend that is reeling from a break-up then it is absolutely necessary to speak to this person and talk about the feelings about possibly dating the ex.
Overall, personally the answer to this post is no. Some may think that it's okay to date a friend ex-boyfriend/girlfriend but I think it's out of the window. Even though I wanted to many times, it never happened because I actually value my friends and wouldn't want to see them hurt over something like the related topic. It is a shame that things aren't simpler but in life all things related to relationships and feelings are complicated.
We should keep in mind certain key factors when it comes down to dating a friend ex boyfriend/girlfriend:
1-First, how recent was the break up
If your friend and this person broke up within the past few weeks or months then it's a no go. Of course, this is only allowed if you speak to the friend and make sure that he/she is okay and is over this relationship. There's nothing more dangerous than trying to date a friend's ex-boyfriend/girlfriend that's not over the relationship. It can turn out really bad.
2- Second, how close is the friendship?
If this person is your best friend or close to being your best friend then the topic of trying to date his/her ex is out of the window!! Seriously! it should be thrown so far out the window that you forget that this was ever a thought. Apart of friendships are rules and boundaries of which we should abide by and this just happen to be one of those rules. If this person is a close friend then I suggest that you talk and let them know that you are considering dating the ex. In experience, friends appreciate hearing directly from friends rather than finding out information elsewhere. If he/she is not a close friend then you don't need to discuss your dating plans with anyone.
3- How upset/over it is this person about the break-up
It is common courtesy that if you have a close friend that is reeling from a break-up then it is absolutely necessary to speak to this person and talk about the feelings about possibly dating the ex.
Overall, personally the answer to this post is no. Some may think that it's okay to date a friend ex-boyfriend/girlfriend but I think it's out of the window. Even though I wanted to many times, it never happened because I actually value my friends and wouldn't want to see them hurt over something like the related topic. It is a shame that things aren't simpler but in life all things related to relationships and feelings are complicated.
This post was very deep and personable, yet Nadeen did an awesome job of attributing humor to it. The truth of her statements is obviously seen and understood; there is an unwritten book that states that you do not touch your friends ex! She does a great job of telling a story, without going into too much detail. The questions she asked are very good, and it helps the reader say engaged.
ReplyDeleteI love humor in stories it just adds that "sauce" that needs. You did a pretty good job. This piece was also very personal and you can see that people have very similar experiences in life. Messing around with your friend's ex is a very sensitive subject to talk about but you did a good job in presenting by not sounding biased.
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